Bad mom

Its so difficult being a mom...I could never have imagined it to be such a daunting task amd a unsatisfying one. We cannot seem to get through to each other ever! Am I expecting too much...is he finding it an enormous burden?? Am I destryoing his spirit, his yet to be formed personality? What is the right balance between being a guiding force and a forcing persona? How can we measure indulgence? Where can we draw the line...how to be gentle but firm??